iLove You
by iisarahh
Summary: She couldn't take it any longer. Her heart has broke one too many times. And she's done enduring the pain. She's not going to pretend any longer. s e d d i e.  ALTERNATE ENDING INCLUDED IF YOU DONT LIKEY ANGST.
1. s a m , the extra

**A/N: So this is my very first fan fiction. I've written a lot of them, but this is the first one I've completed. This might be a one shot, or I might continue it with Freddie's or Carly's point of view if I get reviews asking. Please let me know what you think, I need to know what to fix. Thanks. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

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_i_**L**_**o**_**ve** Y_o_u**.** |** the extra.**

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Sam closed her eyes as tightly as she could, trying to ignore the memories flooding her mind.

'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Carly Shay and Freddie Benson.'

That was all Sam could read before she dropped the card and envelope in surprise, jealousy, and pain. Surprise because did not expect it to happen so soon. Jealousy because Carly, once again, got everything she wanted. Pain because Freddie Benson ended up with Carly Shay, the girl of his dreams, and she... she was just tossed to the side.

Somehow, in the middle of junior year of high school, Carly and Freddie got together. And it hurt Sam, it hurt Sam _so so so __oh__ so badly_. What made it even more painful was that was around the time, she was trying to bring herself to tell him her feelings. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that Carly, her best friend, knew. She knew how Sam felt and she didn't do anything about it. She pretended Sam's feelings were nonexistent.

So eventually, Sam became an _**extra**_, standing in the background, slowly fading away.

Sam couldn't take it any longer. Her heart has broken one too many times. And she's done enduring the pain. She's not going to pretend any longer.

So with shaking hands, she slowly opened the drawer at her desk, revealing paper, a pen, ...and _a small gun_. She poured out her secrets and confessions to Freddie in a letter. A silent tear slid down Sam's cheek as she folded the letter in two, and left it on her desk. Then she wrote a small note to Carly- 'Be happy, Carls. I love you.' and this, too, she folded and left on her desk.

Then she grabbed the gun and her cell phone. She punched in the numbers she had not dialed for so long and waited for Freddie to pick up.

"Hello?" came a familiar voice. Her trembling fingers nudged the trigger as she took a shaking breath and began to speak her last words. "It's me, Sam. Don't talk, just listen. There are 2 letters on my desk. One to you, one to Carly. Make sure you get them as soon as possible. And... Don't worry about me, be happy. Be happy with the love of your life, the girl of your dreams, and your fairytale ending. I didn't have a fairytale ending. So I had to create my own ending, it's the closest I could get to happiness." she said, softly speaking, trying to control the tears that were about to fall.

And with that being said, Sam shut her eyes, ready to take her own life, ignoring Freddie's shouts of concern and confusion on the phone. She took a deep breath, and pulled - but only after whispering, "Goodbye Freddie, _I love you._"

_**(c) Sarah B. (aka o b v i o u s l y . s a r a h) 2010**_

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**A/N: Ugh. Gosh that was terrible. I wrote this around 4 in the morning on my iPod when I couldn't sleep, so please excuse any errors and the horribleness of it…**

**I know I'm not a very good writer, but I'm only 14 and I'm currently working on improving my writing… so yeah. Please review and let me know what you think. It's important to me. Now go ahead. FLAME ME! =D**


	2. f r e d d i e , the lead role

**A/N: Thank you to my kind reviewers: lovelyMESS, Amicus Bonus, princessofthescoundrels, Razgriz24, person226, mebelucy, and my anonymous reviewers: seddieisdestiny, Oh No. It's Happened, Natasha, and Lexxx. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my kind reviewers and my real life friend, Lex. She stayed online with me around 3 in the morning when I was trying to write this chapter and needed support. THANK YOU LEX & MY AWESOME REVIEWERS.**

**I honestly thought I wouldn't get any reviews. So thanks. **

**I had trouble writing this chapter because I had to make it somewhat similar to the previous, and it wasn't too easy. **

**By the way, there's one curse word in here. **

**Well, on to the story.**

******Disclaimer: I do not own.**  


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_i_**L**_**o**_**ve** Y_o_u**.** |** the lead role.**

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Freddie sighed, putting the picture of Sam back in his drawer before his fiancé could see.

Fiancé... Freddie was getting married. To Carly. The girl that is 'supposedly' the love of his life.

In the middle of high school, Carly asked Freddie out. This was a shock to him, as he had already gotten over his crush on Carly. But he said yes anyway. He thought it was just a fling, that they would break up within several months, and everything would go back to normal. However... He was wrong.

Carly and Freddie became closer and closer, shutting everyone out of their own little world, eventually even shutting Sam out. But... Freddie didn't love Carly. He didn't even like her in that way. However, he just kept smiling and nodding. Pretending. Acting.

And so, Freddie became the _**lead role**_, standing center with all eyes on him, hiding his hideous figure behind a beautiful disguise with deception and lies.

He wished he had done something earlier. Freddie could have said no when she asked him out. He could have broken up with her on their one year anniversary. He could have rejected her when _she_, yes, _SHE_

proposed. But Freddie didn't. Now he was going to get married to Carly, whether he liked it or not. He was just going to have to suck it up, and be a man.

Although Freddie really couldn't help but wonder- what if? What if he had said no to Carly? What if he would have confessed his feelings to Sam? What if they went out, and he would be getting married to her,

instead? What if- what if.

...That's all it was. Just a bunch of big "what if's".

Freddie's thoughts were inturrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing. He looked at the screen: _Princess Puckett_. Why would Sam call him? She hasn't called him for years.

He took a deep breath and picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said.

He heard Sam's familiar voice and took a sharp breath. She sounded so... Broken. It was so unlike her.

"It's me, Sam. Don't talk, just listen. There are 2 letters on my desk. One to you, one to Carly. Make sure you get them as soon as possible. And... Don't worry about me, be happy. Be happy with the love of your life, the girl of your dreams, and your fairytale ending. I didn't have a fairytale ending. So I had to create my own ending, it's the closest I could get to happiness." he heard her say.

He stood confused for a second, until he realized what she was saying. His eyes widened. "Sam! No! Are you- what- I... Sam! Sam stop! You can't- Your not- SAM!" Freddie shouted, feeling his heart pound.

He grabbed his car keys and ran downstairs to his car, ignoring Carly's alarmed questions, screaming more protests at Sam. He froze when he heard Sam whisper "Goodbye Freddie, I love you." After that he heard a loud slam, and the dial tone.

"NO! SAM NO NO NO! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, SAM! SAM!" he shouted, sobbing uncontrollably.

He then stepped on the gas, running numerous red lights to get to Sam's house. He stopped in front of it, and ran inside, not even bothering to lock his car door.

"SAM! SAM WHERE ARE YOU?" he shouted, doing nothing to stop the tears running down his face as he searched her house. He ran upstairs and saw Sam's bedroom door closed and pushed it open. Freddie's entire body went numb at the sight that lay in front of him.

Sam. On the floor. Bloody. A gun next to her. And a smile on her face.

_****__**(c) Sarah B. (aka o b v i o u s l y . s a r a h) 2010**_

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**A/N: Well there you have it. Any mistakes? I'm sorry, I know it sucks, but… I don't have any excuse. At least I updated fast. =D**

**Now please, review? Should I write Carly's reaction/thoughts, next? **

**I won't if people don't ask me to. I'm hoping to have 13 more reviews (23 total), but I don't except even one.**

**Tell me how much this sucked on a scale on one to ten, compared to the previous chapter.**

**I know this sucked.**

******So, go ahead, FLAME ME. =D**  



	3. v o t i n g , life or death?

**UPDATE!**

**There were a lot of votes for A and C but... C won. So Sam lives. HOWEVER. I don't think it's fair that just one should win, because C is the usual cliche ending, however A would be whatever my mind invents. **

**My solution? ALTERNATE ENDINGS! :D **

**One of them will be focusing on C, the other one will be whatever my mind creates. (: **

**What do you guys think of that? Let me know. And the next chapter (the one where Sam lives) will be up in a few hours, as promised. Thanks for reviewing/ voting.**

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Hey guys! I know, I HATE these too, but this one is important. I got several private messages and reviews asking for Sam to live. And honestly, I thought I would just do Carly's thoughts and reaction, and then the story would end. But I'm not so sure now...

So I need you guys to vote.

_Do you want me to:_

_(a) do whatever I want because I am, after all, the author ;D_  
_(b) make Sam die! :o_  
_(c) make Sam live! :]_

Review with your vote.

I WAS going to make a poll on my profile, BUT if I would, my anonymous reviewers would not be able to vote.

So... REVIEW WITH YOUR VOTE! I'LL POST UP THE NEXT CHAPTER AFTER I GET 10 (or more) VOTES WITH THE WINNING VOTE!


	4. c a r l y , the director, V1

**A/N: Here's the chapter with the winning choice, C. THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

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_i_**L_o_ve** Y_o_u. | **the director.**

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Carly sat up in her bed, gasping for breath and her heart pounding. Another haunting nightmare.

Because _she_ was the cause for Sam to slowly slip into depression. The cause for Sam's attempt at suicide. The cause for Freddie's unhappiness. The cause of for the three best friends to split.

But what could she do about it? Carly would take it all back in a heartbeat if she could. She never meant to cause Sam misery or Freddie unhappiness.

Carly realized that Sam had feelings for Freddie maybe a year after their kiss. But what Carly didn't know was how deep those feelings were. Carly liked Freddie, too. Freddie was obviously in love with her, he had said it hundreds of times in the past. Sam didn't stand a chance, and she shouldn't waste her time hoping. So Carly asked Freddie out. To make it clear to Sam that Freddie wasn't the one for her. Freddie was _Carly's. _End of story.

Freddie said yes, of course. Carly - being… well, Carly - needed attention. Lots of dates and hanging out and going to the park with her boyfriend. And Freddie gave that to her. He agreed to whatever Carly said or did, he was the perfect boyfriend. They were the perfect couple. Unfortunately, Sam wasn't a part of Carly and Freddie's relationship. She ended up forgotten, while Carly and Freddie got more and more serious. They spent years together, even throughout College, and Carly thought it was only a matter of time before he would propose. He didn't. So one day, Carly- yes, _Carly_ - got down on one knee, pulled out the ring that _she_ bought, and asked, "Would you marry me?".

And so, Carly accidentally became the _**director**_, barking commands left and right, controlling the actions of the ones that surround her.

It seemed perfect in her head. Freddie getting married to the love of his life. Carly getting married to someone who truly knew her and would forever love her. And Sam getting married to some chef to forever please her.

But it was far from perfect.

Carly was washing the dishes when she heard Freddie's frantic shouts and saw him cry into the phone. Something was obviously wrong. So she followed him downstairs into the Bushwell Plaza parking lot, concerned and worried, aiming questions at him that he left unanswered. What was going on?

Then she heard Freddie shout "NO! SAM NO NO NO! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, SAM! SAM!" through his sobs, and her body turned numb. By the time she had recovered from her shock, Freddie had already driven away. She waited for hours and left countless messages on his voicemail before she finally found out the truth.

Sam attempted suicide. Carly didn't know all the details, but she did know that Sam called Freddie, telling him _she_ _loves him _and that she hopes he's happy with his fairytale ending. She apparently didn't have one, so she thought committing suicide would end her misery. Then, Sam shot herself. Freddie drove over to her house, hoping it was just a sick joke, and found her on the floor, dying. He called 911 and they took Sam to the hospital.

Carly got to the hospital as soon as she could. And she waited for days, praying Sam to get better, going insane with the guilt.

Her prays were answered. Sam was saved. Sam lived.

So Carly broke off the engagement with Freddie, encouraging Sam to go for him, trying to make her happy again. And Sam was.

But her guilt and regrets were still piled up, and will never stop haunting her.

_**(c) Sarah B. (aka o b v i o u s l y . s a r a h) 2010**_

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**A/N: I really hate this chapter. Ew. I'm sorry, but every time I tried to write this, I kept on messing up because I had to make Sam live (it was the winning choice).**

**Should I do an alternate ending? WITH CARLY'S REACTION, ONLY DIFFERENT, AND IT BEING WHAT I WOULD CHOOSE TO MAKE IT? Review and let me know.**

**I really want 50 reviews. Can you guys help? There are 37 right now, its not too far! Please, you guys? Tell you what, if I get 50 reviews, I'll try to update everyday. :)**

**Oh, and, GO AHEAD AND FLAME ME! =D THIS CHAPTER SUCKED!**


	5. c a r l y , the perfectionist, V2

**A/N: 51 REVIEWS! I love you guys. =D Thanks to: Lily, ilikeitsomuch, awesome, lovelyMESS, person226, ComplicatedLove, lex, Izzy Fizz, MandarinWafflesOfSaltyness, PsychoticAppleSauce, mebelucy, and Amicus Bonus. **

_**This chapter is dedicated to a few amazing authors and friends on fan fiction: ****lovelyMESS****, ****person226****, ****Amicus Bonus****, ****MandarinWafflesOfSaltyness****, and ****the color is blinding****. Check them out!**_

**THIS IS THE ALTERNATE VIEW OF CARLY'S THOUGHTS AND REACTIONS!**

**For those of you who voted A or B before, this is what it turned out to be. **

**This chapter was really hard to write, especially after the previous one.**

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_i_**L_o_ve** Y_o_u. | **the perfectionist.**

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Carly ripped up the picture of her so-called best friend into as many pieces as she could, her hands shaking with anger.

That selfish, lying little _bitch._ How dare she?

How dare Sam shatter her hopes and dreams?

Everything was _perfect._ Freddie and her were going to get married. They were going to have a perfect happy wedding with all their family and friends attending. Then they were going to have two perfect little children, Rachel and Emily. And they would all live in a big, perfect yellow house. It was planned perfectly.

The plans began at High School. Carly realized how perfect Freddie was. And then she realized Freddie won't love her forever. He might move on to Wendy, or Tureen… or even Sam. She couldn't let that happen. Sam already had the beauty and respect that Carly did not. So she asked Freddie out. He said yes. And just like that, he was _hers_.

Freddie was just as perfect as Carly thought. He gave her everything she wanted. Except, when time came, _the ring._ She waited and waited for him to propose.

He didn't. So instead, Carly decided to. It wasn't perfect, because it was the girl who proposed, not the boy. But she let that one imperfection slide.

Without realizing it, Carly had become a _**perfect **__**perfectionist**_, shunning anyone with flaws and imperfections, wanting only what was flawless.

Carly's life was flawless. Until, of course, Sam ruined it all.

From what Freddie told Carly, Sam called Freddie telling him something about him being happy without her, saying she was creating her ending. Freddie freaked out - this part she knows. She was watching '_Celebrities Underwater' _when she heard his frantic cries and shouts into the phone. Carly followed him all the way to the car, concerned as to what was happening. And that's when she heard him scream, "NO! SAM NO NO NO! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, SAM! SAM!" and he drove away.

It turns out, Sam committed suicide because, from what she explained in a letter to Freddie, she 'had always loved him' and 'it hurt too much to see him with her'.

The short note written to Carly from Sam said 'Be happy Carls. I love you.' Carly scoffed when she read it. Sam didn't want Carly to be happy! She just wanted to ruin Carly's happy ending. Carly's perfect life.

Well, she accomplished that. After Sam successfully killed herself, Freddie became depressed and broke off his engagement with Carly. Apparently, he loved Sam more then Carly all along!

Carly's life could have been perfect. It would have been. Sam just ruined it. She ruined it all.

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**A/N: I don't like this chapter very much… I think this one sucked compared to the previous ones.**

**I had a rough time writing it.**

_**NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT:**_

**I think its time for this story to end. Honestly, I don't want to over kill it. I don't think there is much left to write.**

**Review telling me what you think.**

**Oh, and heres the deal for you people who are reallyyyy lazy to review: ****Think about it. If I spent maybe 20, 30, or 60 minutes writing a chapter for you, don't I deserve 2 minutes of your time to write me an honest review? Thanks.**

**If this story is over****, I might write another one. Once again, review telling me what you think. Should I write more?**


	6. a u t h o r s NOTE

**A/N: Yes, this story is over. BUT! Good news. I have a new story! It's called **_But I don't wanna love you._** :) Please check it out, AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Thanks for reviewing this story, I hope you enjoy my new one!**


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